Author Archive
Burial Mounds
by EIf you read my personal blog (and who doesn’t?) you’ll have heard that I was fortunate enough to swing-by Seoul on vacation this month, a trip I’ve been putting-off for a dismayingly long time. There, one can enjoy the old architecture of UNESCO World Heritage sites amid modern amenities and garlicy barbecues.
Among the sights scattered around the country are the final resting places of royalty dating from the Joseon Dynasty. These herald a period of cultural efflorescence which began in 1392 and lasted for approximately five centuries.
The third ruler of the Joseon period was King Taejong. He was the father of the perhaps the most kick-ass member of the lineage, Sejong the Great. As befitting a monarch, King Taejong is buried in a special compound alongside his Queen, Wongyeong. I’ve always had a soft spot for ancient monuments and places like this are a real treat for me.
But, come to think of it, don’t their tombs sort of, uh… resemble something?
Without a doubt, everybody is out enjoying their summers. On a hot day, who doesn’t love an ice cream at the beach, complete with a breast-related gag?
For those of you who don’t feel like translating it from the Russian, the dialogue goes a bit like this:
Fuzzy dude: Are they real?
Anna: They’re real.
Fuzzy dude: Wow, can I try them?
Voice-over: Ekzo ice cream with REAL berries! Etc! Etc!
Well, it’s not exactly a laugh-riot but, you have to admit, it’s a pretty nice rack indeed.
Ironically, the boobs of the babe in question, Anna Semenovich, a skater-turned-actress, are most certainly not “real” if these before and after pictures are any evidence.
But it wasn’t all fun and games making this commercial, you know. It was plagued by production problems starting from Day 1.
Really, just don’t ask. It’s self-evident enough to not need a translation. Just ignore the annoying sponsorship stuff being overlaid in the first third.
When you combine roller-sleds, boobs and remote-controlled electric shock backpacks, this is the only possible result of the three. There is literally no other way to mix them.
Perhaps you’ve heard this urban-legend before, ladies. You’re on a plane. Maybe you’re on your way to a fabulous tropical island vacation. Perhaps you’re on a business trip to hook an important new client. Or perhaps you’re going on a banal visit to your newly-widowed Aunt Tilley in Indianapolis, the one with the yappy little dog you can’t stand.
At any rate, you hope to stun ‘em with your proud, new, fake-ass Double-D’s. As the Delta Airlines 737 breaches the tops of the clouds, the cabin pressure drops and you suddenly sense an uncomfortable stretching in your chest…
To your dismay, you look down and see your blouse stretching frontward! Little pockets of gas within your implants are expanding due to the decrease in cabin pressure, threatening to burst your chest wide open!
Just check-out this shamefully moronic, badly-acted and (hopefully) ironized dramatization, which would feel strangely incomplete were it to lack its tasteless Hindustani stereotyping:
Right. If you think about it, it’s an extremely stupid kind of myth indeed.
Perhaps a million gallons of carbonated beverages fly on airplanes every single day, yet you don’t experience any excessive fizz, do you?
Nonetheless, urban-legends are harder to kill than vampires. Fortunately, the always-erudite Adam and Jaime of MythBusters are on the case. They will create the tests and ask the tough question: Is it so or ain’t it so?
And, hold the phone and brace yourselves… it ain’t so at all.
The video is about 10 minutes long, but it’s well worth watching as they try, in vain, to use air pressure to destroy implants nestled within a mock-up torso made of a flesh-approximating colloid. As always, the duo oddly relishes the process way more than the anticlimactic results. You can sort of see the cartoon thought-bubbles hovering over their heads saying: “Isn’t this so friggin’ cool??”
SCIENCE!!! Is there anything it can’t do?
So there you have it, folks. Another myth definitively… busted!
So to speak.
Kind of an interesting, random departure. Most beauty contests disallow cosmetic surgery, but not so for Miss Plastic Hungary. No natural babes, thank you very much!
This isn’t entirely a new idea, either. China has been having these as far back as 2004 and a number of other countries have followed suit.
Anyone know Hungarian? No? Here’s the English version.
